My Life As A Farmer's Wife: Vacation Shenanigans

"John, you better go grab yourself a stiff drink, your phone and a chair." These are not soothing words to ones ears the moment they walk into the beach house that has been rented for the week.

So to bring you up to speed let me begin by saying that we took a family vacation to Destin, FL with my mom's side of the family.

Her family had stayed at this exact home seven years prior. They all enjoyed the lovely home set right on the beach. Everyone agreed that this was the place they wanted to stay.
The pictures on the internet looked just the same as it did back then so it seemed like a good choice.
The pictures were taken back before Hurricane Dennis struck land in Destin, FL...

With my family (mom, dad and Dan) being the last to arrive at the house, we were greeted in uneasy terms. This was not the place that everyone remembered. Wood floors were stained and "dirty" looking. Blinds were tattered. Windows were rusted. Paint was chipped. Ceilings were moldy. Emotions were running haywire.

How could a real estate owner allow good and innocent people to stay in such a dump?? As everyone attempted to brighten their spirits one thing led to another. We went on to take our bags to our designated rooms. Dan and I were assigned the pull out couch. OK...not exactly what I was thinking but I can cope. That was until we tried to pull the bed out. After yanking the beggebies out of the folded up frame, Dan finally unfolded a pure masterpiece....a lumpy and tattered mattress. Dan attempted to sit on this fine piece of furniture until he sank right to the floor. Somehow the bed had one remaining spring holding up the mattress. This was NOT going to work.

Completely distraught we decided the next best thing was to stay in the bunk room.....with 5 other women! Poor Dan was stuck in a twin bed in a room with 6 women. Till this day I am unaware of how he survived!

As the days passed, I became acclimated to my rock hard twin mattress and stiff sheets drifting away to the sound of a room full of snoring women. Needless to say I believe I went through an entire bottle of Tylenol p.m. due to nearly everyone in the house needing a sleep aid. Come on, why can't anyone sleep on a hard or lumpy mattress with an air conditioning system that wasn't quite up to par?

I'm sure this vacation just sounds wonderful but believe it or not, we did actually have fun a time or two! We ate like Kings, enjoyed watching the Olympics as a family, played games, swam in the ocean, played in the sand and shopped till we dropped.

We were blessed enough to celebrate my mom and Aunt Carol's 54th birthday together as well. How did they want to celebrate their day of birth you ask? They wanted to rent bicycles. You know, the kind that have the big baskets in front and annoying bells on the handle bars. Aunt Carol picked out her bicycle and requested a bell. The owner smiled as mom and I shook our heads and sarcastically thanked him as he strapped that dandy bell on the handle bar. By the end of our bike ride I not only had tired legs and a sore hind end but an annoying ringing in my ears. Thank goodness for Carol it was her birthday because I almost hijacked her little bell after the 50th time it rang. God love her!

The birthday girls

All in all we had a great vacation. A week basking in God's glorious creation and spending valuable and precious time with family. Yes, the house was not what we expected but it sure made me appreciate my clean floors, super comfy bed and the ability to fall right asleep without the sound of a room full of women snoring!